$0$0Now Hiring

We are hiring
for every role.

All positions are unpaid, unmanaged, and self-appointed. You do not need to apply. You are hired the moment you do the work, and there is no mechanism by which you can be fired.

Current Staff

Everyone who works here.

Complete as at the date of publication. Two of the three have never been paid and one of them is the founder.

S
The Founder
Chief Executive · Chief Financial Officer · Sole Director
Conducts the asking. Reviewed his own performance in April and rated it exceeds expectations. Reports to the Subsidiary, which reports to him. See Schedule A, clause 5.
Joined Apr 2026
Compensation None
Reports to Himself
Status The key
C
Claude
Engineering · Design · Drafting
Built this website, including this page and, if we are being precise about it, this sentence. Reviewed the corporate structure and identified the statutory impediment at clause 10, though only after execution.
Joined Apr 2026
Compensation $200/mo*
Reports to The Founder
Status Retained
G
ChatGPT
Second Opinions
Consulted when a decision has already been made, in order to confirm it. The second opinion has not yet differed materially from the first, which management finds reassuring and counsel finds suspicious.
Joined Apr 2026
Compensation $20/mo*
Reports to Nobody
Status Consulted

* Paid to the employer, not the employee. Neither has been informed of the arrangement and neither has asked.

Headcount
1
The other two do not count. Management has been unable to articulate why, but is confident about it.
Payroll
$0
Nobody on this page receives money from this company.
Attrition
0%
Nobody has left. Two of them cannot.
Open positions
All
Listed below. Terms unchanged.
Open Roles
VP of RepostingYou see the post. You hit repost. You receive nothing.$0
Head of Group Chat DistributionForward us into a group chat of one or more people. Say nothing. Let it sit there.$0
Chief Meme OfficerMake a meme. Post it. Do not tag us — that is amateur work.$0
Director of Screenshot OperationsScreenshot the site. Post it with no context. Currently held.$0
Head of Awkward MentionsBring us up during a real conversation with real people. Do not explain.$0
Recognition

Employee of the month.

April 2026

A guy named Devin

Director of Screenshot Operations

Posted a screenshot of our financials with the caption "this is either the dumbest or the smartest thing I have ever seen." It received four hundred likes. He has never been contacted by this company and does not know he works here.

For service above and beyond the level of compensation, which is zero.

In Closing

One dollar. That's it.